The Magician (Search for similar jokes)
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.(ship_parrot: 42 of 64)
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat"
"He's hiding the flowers under the table"
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn"t do anything; it was, after all, the captain"s parrot. One day the ship ran into trouble, and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another.
After 3 days the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
Scaffolding (Search for similar jokes)
Ken: My uncle fell off a scaffolding and was killed.(scaffold: 43 of 64)
Bob: What was he doing up on the scaffolding?
Ken: Getting hanged.
Sentence (Search for similar jokes)
Teacher: Jeremy, please make a sentence containing the word "I".(i_is: 44 of 64)
Jeremy: I is -
Teacher: No - Don't say "I is." Say "I am."
Jeremy: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Diplomat (Search for similar jokes)
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.(diplomat: 45 of 64)
A flat Excuse (Search for similar jokes)
Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their carhad broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told them that they could have another day to study.(flat_tyre: 46 of 64)
That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.
Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. The two of them looked at each other, shrugged and went to two different parts of the building.
As each sat down, they read the directions: "For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom. For 95 points, tell me WHICH tire it was!"
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