Magazine Correspondent (Search for similar jokes)
Shortly after the Korean War, the son of then South Korean President Syngman Rhee was hired as a Life Magazine correspondent. The younger Rhee was a remarkably kind, gentle and considerate man, but he had one problem: He loved to drink and sometimes was gone on a bender for days. On one occasion, Rhee was missing for three days before someone at the magazine's office finally suggested they look for him. Other correspondents and even the police were involved in the search. Finally, about two weeks later, a policeman walked into a tavern, looked at the man slumped over the bar and cried, "Ah, Sweet Mr. Rhee of Life, at last I've found you."(sds_mrree: 16 of 131)
Submitted by Jerry Tee.
My Aunt's Cat (Search for similar jokes)
My aunt's beloved cat Ginger had grown seriously overweight, so she decided to take him to the vet to find out if there was anything wrong with him - and more to the point, whether anything could be done about it.(sds_auntscat: 17 of 131)
So she put him into the kitty-carry box, and drove to the surgery.
The doc prescribed a course of pills, and my aunt left, happy in the knowledge that Ginger would soon be his slim old self again.
But after a few weeks of taking the pills, there was no change: Ginger was as fat as ever. Soon months had gone by, and still there was no difference. In fact, if anything, it was getting worse.
The other problem was the invoices from the vet - these pills were costing a fortune.
It soon became clear to us all that Ginger had become a doc-billed fatty-puss.
Bee Hive Security (Search for similar jokes)
A long time ago, there was a beehive in the middle of a forest. Every day, as worker bees do, they would go out into their fields, gather pollen from the flowers, and bring it back to make honey.(sds_securehive: 18 of 131)
The bees had a problem, though, because every so often an intruder would come around, such as a bear who wanted the honey, or kids who thought it'd be fun to throw rocks at the hive. Finally, the bees got tired of it.
Being the intelligent bees that they are, they built an alarm system for the hive. They built it such that one bee pulls a lever, which triggers the alarm that the bees will hear from the fields, and then the bees can come back to protect their home.
There was one bee who was exclusively assigned that job, and he was aptly named the "Lever Bee." His job was to watch for potential adversaries, and pull the lever to raise the alarm.
Now obviously, the security of the hive depends on this one Lever Bee. So he has to be constantly ready and on the alert to be able to do his job.
And that, friends, is why people say, "I'm as ready as a Lever Bee."
(Submitted by Andy-Wan)
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