Locked Car (Search for similar jokes)
A bloke is sitting by his car at the side of the road looking unhappy. A passer-by sees his glum face and asks what the problem is.(khaki: 99 of 131)
"I've locked myself out of my car." replies the man.
"That's not a problem," replied the passer-by, "Step out of the way, and let me have a look."
The motorist is a bit perplexed, but reckons there's no harm in it letting the man try. So the passer-by turns around, and rubs his legs slowly up and down the driver"s door. Suddenly, the lock opens and the man turns and opens the car door.
"That's amazing!" says the motorist, "How did you do it?"
"It's easy," replies the pedestrian, "I'm wearing khaki trousers."
Pullover (Search for similar jokes)
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the lady behind the wheel was knitting!(pullover: 100 of 131)
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yells, "PULLOVER!"
"NO," she yelled back over the sound of the siren, "It's a SCARF!"
Frog in a bank (Search for similar jokes)
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up to the loan officer.(knick_knack: 101 of 131)
The loan officer says, "My name is John Paddywack. Can I help you?"
The frog says, "Yeah, I'd like to borrow some money."
The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. He says, "Okay, what's your name?"
The frog says, "Kermit Jagger."
The loan officer says, "Really? Any relation to Mick Jagger?"
The frog says, "Yeah, he's my dad."
The loan officer says, "Okay. Ummm...do you have any collateral?"
The frog hands the loan officer a pink ceramic elephant and says, "Will this do?"
The loan officer says, "Hmmm...I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager."
The frog says, "Oh, tell him I said hi. He knows me."
The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, "Excuse me, but there's this frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing, I'm not ever sure what it is."
The manager says, "It's a knick-knack, Paddywack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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