The Entomologist (Search for similar jokes)
Henry was an entomologist at the local university. He was to be up for a promotion this year and with the promotion would come tenure. But there was a problem.(entomologist: 104 of 131)
It was not that he couldn't teach - indeed two years ago he'd been honored by the undergraduates by being named their favorite teacher - No his problem was with his research: He hadn't had asuccessful research project in several years, and in this day of "Publish or Perish", this was not a good situation.
So that day, feeling depressed, he left the University as soon as his morning lecture was over, so that he could work in his garden. This always had been effective in relieving tension in the past.But to his chagrin, he found most of his roses were dying, and on further examination found they were infested with a parasite.
But what were these insects. They appeared to belong to the order Anapleura. That was strange. Anapleura infected mammals not plants.
He examined them more closely. Small. Wingless. Definitely a species of Pediculosis, but one he had never seen before. He gathered up several specimens, and rushed to his lab, full of new vigor.He examined the insects and detail and rapidly wrote an article describing this new species of insect.
Well, I'm sure you know result. The article was immediately accepted by the American Journal of Entomology. His job was saved and he received his most coveted tenure.And he received a new major grant to study this new species.
You could say he had discovered a new lice on leaf.
(Submitted By Stan Kegel)
Dead Rabbit (Search for similar jokes)
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.(dead_rabbit: 105 of 131)
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. Another car arrives on the scene, and the driver sees the man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The newcomer says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet,turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says....
"Hair restorer.......adds permanent wave."
Smart Horse (Search for similar jokes)
There was once a very smart horse. Anything that was shown it, it mastered easily, until one day, its teachers tried to teachit about rectanguar coordinates and it couldn't understand them. All the horse's aquaintences and friends tried to figure outwhat was the matter and couldn't. Then a new guy (what the heck, a computer engineer) looked at the problem and said,(descartes: 106 of 131)
"Of course he can't do it. Why, you're putting Descartes before the horse!"
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