Bad Puns: Welcome to the house of pun
Welcome to the house of Pun


How many lives?     (Search for similar jokes)
Everyone knows the king of the beasts has sharp claws.
It should be obvious - like any other cat, he has lion knives.
(spn_ninelives: 10 of 19)

High lights     (Search for similar jokes)
I went to the hairdresser, and they did my hair so that it made me look much taller.... they put lie-heights in my hair.
(highlights: 11 of 19)

Junk Mail     (Search for similar jokes)
A brother at a monestary tried sending out lots of unwanted advertisments, but he was arrested and put in prison.
He was also very unpopular in prison. After all - no-one likes monk jail.
(junk_mail: 12 of 19)

Stocks Sink     (Search for similar jokes)
A very nervous man became an investments broker. Whenever there was bad news about a company he held shares in, his nervousness would make is feet begin to sweat profusely.
It's apparently a common trait in investment circles, though - bad news makes your socks stink.
(stocks_sink: 13 of 19)

Spooner's Spooners     (Search for similar jokes)
Some spoonerisms said to have been uttered by Reverend Spooner himself...
  • A half-warmed fish (half-formed wish)
  • Our queer old Dean (dear old Queen)
  • A well-boiled icicle (well-oiled bicycle)
  • The Lord is a shoving leopard. (a loving shepherd)
  • Mardon padam, this pie is occupewed. May I sew you to another sheet? (pew is occupied; show you to another seat)
  • You have hissed my mystery lectures; you have tasted a whole worm.(missed my history lectures; wasted the whole term)

(With that lot under his belt, it's hardly suprising they were named after him!)
(spooners: 14 of 19)

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